Take That You Blind Piece of Shit. Or, the Real Yo Mama.

So I somehow got on this hot new MTV show called Yo Mama that's hittin' the airwaves in February (shamelss self promotion? No. I feel a little shame) where folks spit their trash talk and yo mama jokes. It was a fun time, and if you need evidence, in the Myspace profile of one of my competitors, he listed his occupation as "G". 'Nuff said.

Now, while the show as recorded was fun, during the hell trip to Las Vegas many a personal insult was thrown out, and we decided it'd also be fun to slam on those who it's easy to be slammed on. Hence, here's what I hope will one day be on the air :

Harp: "Yo mama's so fat she's like you. She can't walk, you legless fuck"

(as said against the legless fuck in a wheelchair. (Lord, if you're listening, I haven't forgotten how I didn't plunge 40 stories to my death nary 2 days ago, and I'm still worried about my thumb, so just keep my good natured humor in mind.))

Clearly that wins me round one.

(going against a man whose bladder was shot out and has to pee through one of those tubes)

Harp: "Man, you so dirty you drink the piss out of that canteen on your leg, you spastic colon having motherfucker."

Well if there's a doubt that that would move me onto the final round, then you're so crazy you make pi look rational. I was going to try that joke in the competition, but the crowd may not have been the brightest and I had a feeling that wasn't gonna happen. Neither was my joke of "Yo mama's like me. She can't get an erection" (Again, lord, if you're listening, I like getting erections).

Anyway, onto the final round :

Harp: "Yo mama's such a whore, she's just like you. Always givin' head, you decapitation accident victim son of a bitch."

(As said against a man, who although recently decapitated, somehow had his torso saunter into a trash talking competition. (Again, lord, please don't have my sunroof have another whacky mishap whilst I drive with my head sticking out the car, spitting at poor people.))

So yeah, that thumb is starting to hurt again, so goodnight and goodbyeeeeee.

Your truly,

Harp

Comments

[dannyoo]

lil sparky your mother calls me lightning-dannyoo because I fuck her faster than lightning