Drug Personality Quiz

You've taken a drug test--now take a drug quiz! A drug personality quiz, that is!

1.    What are your mornings like?

a)     Busy busy busy! Guzzling coffee, yelling at people who work under me for things they may not be responsible for, like the weather.

b)     Totally sweet until I got to put the shoes on and catch the bus.

c)     I spend like five minutes deciding between my "wacky" bra with the cherry pattern or the "wicked" bra with the flame pattern.

d)    Wake up, put my wanker on the chin of the supermodel next to me, so it looks like one of those Egyptian pharaoh beards.

2.    How might a date with you conclude?

a)     Angry dancing, angrier yelling, angriest fucking .

b)     Drowsy snuggling, eating waffles with donut-piece legs and arms .

c)     Awkward moment with mom when she finds us rolling around with our bare tummies getting tickled by the friendly front yard grass at four in the morning.

d)     Coma in a five star hotel suite.

3.     What would you do if a serial murderer was pursuing you?

a)     I welcome the opportunity to slay a man in hand to hand combat.

b)     Shit my pants

c)     I'd show him that I'm like kind of goth too and we'd go to the cemetery and talk about dreams.

d)     Wouldn't notice

4.     What time period are you best suited for?

a)     Now, or the future, if I can pick the future.

b)     Olden times, like when it was just you and your horse and no one hassled you. None of this blah blah rent blah blah homework assignment. It was just you and the open road and you'd be all like "It's dusk, I'm eating beans."

c)     Okay, the thing is, I don't believe in "time" per se.

d)     Never. Life kills.

5.     Look down. What best describes your footwear?

a)     Designer dress shoes of shiniest patent leather

b)     Comfortable as bedroom slippers

c)     Open toe so I can see my purple pedicure and my skull-n-crossbones toe ring! Argh, too cute!

d)     They were a free gift from House of Prada, but now smell like vomit.

6.     Take a deep breath. What smell surrounds you?

a)     Anxiety

b)     Like it might after a couch and a campfire had sex

c)     The guy at the fair told me the oil scent was called "jazzberry."

d)     Look, I know the room is on fire, okay?  It does that sometimes.

7.     What kind of animal do you most resemble?

a)     The most focused piranha in all the seven seas.

b)     That one hakuna matata animal

c)     My spirit-part is literally snow leopard.

d)     Hey--fuck you.

8.     What do the great figures of history have in common, in your opinion?

a)     They settled their shit and didn't fuck around

b)     They were just people, people like you and me

c)     They had magical far-seeing crystals given to them by the space goddesses, one of whom I have drawn with pastels (Areanna)

d)     They sucked almost as much as this quiz

9.     Which of these situations sounds the most stressful to you?

a)     A weekend in the countryside.

b)     Getting onto an elevator full of policemen.

c)     Parents find tiny key, read purple diary.

d)     Waking up tomorrow.

And your drug personality is...

Now, the fun part! Figure out which answer you chose the most and match it up to the result key below!

Mostly A's... A real go-getter, ambitious if irritable, you're COCAINE.  Countless industry types and many successful self-starters of old swear by this "wonder drug" which can substitute for food and sleep, or both at once if need be. You don't mess around and your temper is short, but its called a deadline people! Go get 'em!

Mostly B's... You're laid back and chill, a real POT kind of person!  Personable and friendly, pot is welcome at any party, until you grow up or disappear down a slippery slope of listening to cool tunes and forgetting the fact your life is a finite span of time. Whatever! Leave those tight-asses to their rat race and eat a brownie!

Mostly C's... You're the kind of person fascinated by zany colors and fantastical if trite ideas, like a pegasus with a baby pegasus or a rainbow fitting into a shoe. Your drug is SHROOMS you probably do a lot of shopping at Hot Topic and bond with your friends over how you both do a little dance when you get excited about eating ice cream. (something neither of you do when you're alone!)

Mostly D's... Rich and suicidal, HEROIN is the ultimate catch! Heroin suits your rock star personality best. Its for those edgy few who have climbed the peak of the mountain and all they see in front of them is valley. The king of drugs, I hear heroin is just a plain old blast, and makes dying in a pool of your own piss haute couture.

(Disclaimer: Quiz Gal has never done a drug other than the high of unwarranted self-righteousness)

Comments

[zzzARAzzz]

I'm not any of these choices! I'm E. My Drug of choice? TAB Energy Drink and Poppers.

[groovy dude]

But music is awesome man. I mean, like, really AWESOME.

[teen alcohol treatment]

This is like a quiz in facebook.. thank you for the post.

-mj-