weak nights: The Lead Singer of Vampire Weekend is Some Dork

Hip or not man, this kid's a real doofus. I mean look at the fella. He looks fresh off the stage of some high school quad eating area (I mean to say his band probably gained a following during high school, and is made up of band geeks). These dorkos missed some much needed poundings along the way by the big dogs of the campus. The only string section these nerdwads should be familiar with is the string of beatings received in the section of their face. This kid's professor father is probably all proud of him, thinking back fondly on the times he and his achieving son spent in their socks, listening to significant LPs and perfecting guitar maneuvers in the downstairs den. It is a blemish on society that we let former band geeks get away with being anything besides a national embarrassment. They were dorks back in the day, and just because they got quirkier in life, doesn't mean that original seed of dorkiness has germinated into anything besides a massive dork flower. Which reminds me, what is this kid's name anyways? Lewis? Probably something that rhymes with "dork flower." (Most likely 'spork cower'--like he is such a weakling that if you threatened him with a plastic spork from your high school cafeteria, he would all cower and stuff. Stork glower? In the sense that a snork would glower at him as a baby, because he knows what a massively shameful geek-o-the-week times a 1000 this kid is going to be. Alas, my wit has exhausted me. "Look outside the raincoats gone, oh, oh oh..." indeed.