Dear Producers of the soon to be hit CW show 90210,
I was just sitting here eating another one of my famous Peanut Butter N' Jelly Goldfish Cracker Tortilla Wraps and had a thought: YOU NEED ME TO WORK ON THE NEW 90210! Here are the 12 reasons (9+0+2+1+0=12) you need moi!
1. I KNOW THE SHOW LIKE NO OTHER - Not only was I a fat kid that watched it obsessively in the 90's, now thinner, I watch at least four episodes every night before I go to bed (and I'm not even a meth addict like David Silver!). Basically I can tell the writers what's been done before.
Example: Kelly Taylor has already been brainwashed by a Scientology-like cult AND stalked by a lesbian burn victim! Donna Martin has already been pushed down the stairs by Ray Pruitt AND has had a brief stint as a fashion model in Paris!
2. I HAVE PLOT LINE IDEAS - First off, you need to bring back some of my favorite players. Here we go:
1. Kelly's mom Jackie Taylor could become West Beverly's go-to GILF coke dealer.
2. Valerie Malone and Nat turn The Peach Pit After Dark into The Peach's Pit - a brothel that serves sexy ladies, pie and MEGA BURGERS! Nat could help pimp the girls out including Brenda Walsh (returning only for November Sweeps) who goes by her alter ego Laverne.
3. Andrea Zuckerman (now age appropriate) teaches the newspaper kids over at The Blaze while seducing the cool teen boys with her nerdy womanly charms.
4. Clare Arnold returns. Period.
Basically bring every female actor back (minus Hilary Swank -ugh) and I'll make it work into the plot.
3. I WILL ACT FOR YOU! - As a part-time actor (mainly direct to DVD horror films that should be "so bad they're good" but just end up being "plain bad") you could cast me as Bo, the young funky art teacher who teaches the kids to stop shopping and start creating! OR I could play Andrea's daughter Hannah Vasquez, who's developed a gender identity crisis. Hey, I could definitely play teen right? I mean Ian Ziering started the show at 28 too!
4. I'VE WORKED WITH LORI LOUGHLIN BEFORE - I was an extra on her "hit" show Summerland. We locked eyes at one point.
5. JENNIE GARTH AND I TALK - When I was 12 years old, I sent her some fan mail... her assistant sent me back a lovely pre-printed autograph!
6. MY BEST FRIEND WENT TO THE REAL WEST BEVERLY HIGH - In Torrance.
Okay, that's 6 reasons to hire me and the last three I was reaching pretty hard. Basically there are three two good reasons to hire me at 90210. And if I didn't convince you yet - I make a mean cup of coffee and will work for free.
See you on set! You won't regret it!
:)
Mike
Dear producers,
you NEED me! my life is acting and drama. I would spice your show up so much that people will forget about OPRAH, and who ever the hell else. You need to give me a chance to be on 90210. You will not regret it. Please
Posted by: Elena | October 01, 2009 at 10:41 AM