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Where Are They Now: The Weak Nights Bloggers
I've been getting hundreds of emails flooding my junk mail box regarding the missing members of Weak Nights. Relax, they're all alive (relatively speaking).
For all you curious folks here's an update on what my former colleagues are up to:
RICE EATERSON: Currently Rice is raising a shoe box of snakes with his "room mate" in Valencia, CA. And they both work at Six Flags Magic Mountain as greeters!
DARREN HERZEG: Darren is still bragging about meeting that hideous African girl from Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency at Zankou Chicken. Good grief.
JOHN CANON: John is now officially both Jewish and homophobic.
MILES NIE: What's going on with Miles? I'm not totally sure but it's probably something real olde-timey.
LIL' "E" SPARX: It's all in a name. Bitch is rapping and doing drugs and video taping it. Also, she's dating a Mexican.
TIM WHATEVER: I'm not sure what he's up to. He wouldn't return my calls.
HELLEN HARLAND: What's she doing? A LOT of Puerto Rican guys and at least a one blogger who shall remain nameless. Okay, it's me.
HARPEKIN: I actually do think he died. It was 2006 and it involved a shit load of Diet Coke.
CARLOS: Carlos is still trying to find labor work in front of Home Depot. And doing drugs with Lil' "E" of course.
And last but not least (although I think we've never met so she kinda should be least)...
KELSEY MCDONALD'S: Kelsey still works morning shifts at Coffee Bean, afternoon shifts at Pete's Coffee and night shifts at It's A Grind. Kelsey has been thinking about adapting Xena: Warrior Princess into a movie franchise for the last seven years. Keep on thinking girlfriend!
Welcome to WEAK MIKE'S!
Hi there reader,
How are you? Anyway since it seems basically like it's only just you and me now on this here site, I've decided to take over this blog for good and make it all about me. Look forward to tons of posts about Denise Richards, Peanut Butter, Models Inc., and cash. For my first post all I gotta say is:
CAN WE TALK ABOUT THESE GAS PRICES???
Talk to you tomorrow reader!
Love,
Mike
Founder & CEO
Weak Mike's Inc.
9021-UHOH!
So after my super successful post last week(I got the part!), my good friend Lori (Loughlin) and I decided to hire a limo to check up on the famous high school in person... you know to make sure everything is secure and perfect for when we arrive to shoot at West Beverly High next week. Lori and I were suprised by what we saw...
Uh... is that a tagged palm tree? Where am I? I thought this was Beverly Hills, not Chino ("The OC" reference).
SERIOUSLY? This is an outrage! Don't people know that Shannen Doherty AND SMG (Sarah Michelle Gellar) once walked these grounds?!? Lori was mortified.
Did Oprah get in on the action too? Does that bitch have to put her stamp on EVERYTHING?
A plastic fork gang fight perhaps?
YIKES! Is that blood?
Lori took this one, thanks girlfriend. The worst part of this trip? The famous courtyard fountain and no water in it... just trash! And I don't mean me.
Basically I've called the producers to tell them that Lori Loughlin and I will not be returning to West Beverly because of this tacky-ass place they call a set. But fear not, we have GREAT NEWS! On the way back to Encino in the limo Lori and I wrote an outline on her iPhone for a Summerland spin-off called Summer. It's going to be just as sexy and controversial as The WB tv classic! The best part, Jesse McCartney's gonna play my dad! Look out for Summer coming to My Network TV this winter! And uh... good luck Jennie Garth... watch out for those plastic forks! LOL!!!
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